A mixed bag of loves
This year’s mother’s day was technically my second to celebrate, however it felt more like my first as a) I was more coherent and well-slept since MD #1 – when I was then a sleep-deprived mum with a 4 week old newborn baby walking around like a zombie and b) I received my first mother’s day card from MM which instantly bought tears to my eyes. It has been a big month at ELG central. I have gone back to work full time and MM is in full time childcare. In the first four weeks, the three of us were struck down with illnesses of all kind being sickly passed from MM to Mr ELG to me and back around again like a vicious cycle. Dirty washing had taken over every surface of the laundry and if you had asked me what a home-cooked meal was; I would have looked at you like you were speaking to me in Russian as dinners became the last thing on my mind after sickness, snot and sleep and I think I broke the record of how much takeaway pizza one could consume in one week! So by the time mother’s day arrived this year on 13 May, 2012 and Mr ELG handed me a red heart-shaped card with MM’s tiny hand prints on the front and a poem inside, I had an out-pouring of love and happy tears rolled down my face leaving MM bewildered as to why mummy was crying and smiling at the same time! 9 days later and it has felt like the longest 9 days – primarily due to some sad news that a close friend shared with me on the Saturday before mother’s day (I can not even begin to imagine how the days have stretched for my friend). As I listened to her speak such difficult words to say, her voice shaking and croaking with each word; I felt numb, scared and in shock over life and how moments can suddenly unfold. Right there and then, I wanted to hold my friend, tight with love and tell her it was going to be alright. And so there I was the day after celebrating the unconditional love I have for MM and not being able to stop thinking about the conversation from the day before. Over the last 9 days, my thoughts have been consumed by the events which have since unfolded and intertwined with all of this have been my thoughts of the many shades and colours of a mother’s love. A love for the present, a love for the unknown, a love for the memories, a love for the now, a love of hope and a love of what may never come. As I said; a mixed bag of loves. These last 9 days have made me stop and think, stop and appreciate and be grateful for the blessing of my child who never ceases to amaze me. I recently wrote to my friend that there are no words. But today I feel that there are three… I love you xAx